Impossible
by the lights of paris
Summary: Was it possible to love somebody to the point where it consumed you, to the point where it became unhealthy, to the point where you didn't live to please yourself but to please them because you would do everything and anything for them. It was impossible for Blair Waldorf to do the anything other then this when it came to Chuck Bass.


**Title: **Impossible

**Summary: **Was it possible to love somebody to the point where it consumed you, to the point where it became unhealthy, to the point where you didn't live to please yourself but to please them because you would do everything and anything for them. It was impossible for Blair Waldorf to do the anything other then this when it came to Chuck Bass. CB oneshot.

**Authors Note: **I have no idea where this came from, it's set in no particular time period but does mention things from season five but _not_ season six. I don't even know what this, I'm sorry guys.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything, sadly.

* * *

She didn't know how it was possible for two people to be in an all-consuming, over powering love where they would die for the other. She had always dreamed for a magical love, for a prince who would sweep her off of her feet and shower her with gifts and make her feel like she was the only girl in the world, she dreamed for princesses and princes, for queens and kings, she dreamed of magical lands where minions would fetch her a cream latte and for some portion of her life she got to live out that dream. She had her prince charming, golden boy Nathaniel Archibald and she had her minions but it felt fake. She was always walking on thin ice at any moment she could lose them all to Serena Van Der Woodsen, her on and off best friend. She was like the evil queen and Serena was like Snow White. Blair may of been queen but Serena got it all, everybody loved her and then she got a brief taste of actual real life royalty, her quick marriage to Louis. The very thought of it made her want to weep forever, she had been so stupid to think for even a second he loved her but more importantly that he would ever be the person she would ever end up spending her life with. She had known ever since that night in the back of a certain bad boys limo who her real prince was and she was fooling herself if she thought it was anybody else. The very thought of Chuck Bass could make her worst day feel like her best or her best day feel like her worst. He was everything to her. He was her sunshine and he was her rain. He was her prince charming and he was the bad guy she had to defeat. Their love was complicated and difficult and far to superior for normal, average people to even begin to understand. No matter how many times they hurt each other they kept coming back to one another and while it's hard to forget and harder to forgive, they had always managed to do so because in the end it's always been them. It's always been them against the world. All short lived attempts to get over one another, to forget the other existed was exactly that short lived, in their minds anyway. It would always be them for each other, she may of moved on to guy after guy and he may of tried to get over her with endless one night stands and two failed relationships but the whole time their minds were filled of only thoughts of each other, visions of the other touching them in sacred places, of asking them how their day was, of cuddling them, of having pointless banter.

"You truly are insane," She would giggle, throwing a pillow at him and he would duck, a grin that only she ever got to see spread across his face. It was times like these, when they both came undone, when they showed the other everything lying beneath the cold hard exteriors that they knew for certain that they loved each other, that it was more then lust and desire. It was times like these that they swore that if anybody walked in on them that they would think aliens had taken over their bodies and were controlling their brains because this _wasn't_ who they were as individuals, this was _them._ Anybody could see from a mile away that they had been made for each other, no matter how many fights and struggles they went through. No matter how many times they declared war, no matter how many times they had hate sex, no matter how many times he hurt her, no matter how many times she hurt him they would move past it because they were made for each other and while it wasn't healthy, it wasn't something they could control either.

They had both wished a thousand times over to just be able to move on and past whatever they had and to admit that they were way to damaged as individuals and as a whole to ever be together. It was far to unhealthy for their own good, they both kept getting hurt but it hurt far to much to be away from each other, to spend the rest of their lives without each others love then to be together. No matter how many times someone through in her face that he was bad news, that he had sold her for a stupid hotel that he still kept on to, that he had slept with Jenny Humphrey, that he had slept with Vanessa Abrams, that it had taken him an entire _year_ to say I love you, she would brush it off and tell them that they didn't know him and while in her heart she knew what they were saying was true, they _didn't _know him. Not like she knew him and no matter how many times people told him that she only fucked with his mind, stringed him along, fell for other guys he would simply throw the fact that she was allowed to move on, that they didn't even begin to understand what their love even was but he was weaker then her and he would crumble because it was true, she had tortured him. She had married a fucking prince after telling him how much she loved him and then she had ran away with Dan Humphrey. She had told him that she wasn't in love with him and even while they were together he had doubts because who could ever truly love him?

They had gone through so much and hurt each other to the point where they swore they would never be able to recover but they've come out of the other end with only a few scratches, one gunshot wound, a miscarriage and a whole lot of blood loss. They had survived all the blood, sweat and tears that came with their relationship and even if they aren't together right now, sometime in the near future they will be. It's practically destiny but both would be lying if they didn't think, or at the very least worry that they had lost the other for good but they loved each other with their whole soul, with their whole body, with their whole mind.

"I hate you!" She would scream, her arms flailing in the air and he would wrap his arms around her and pull her closer in for a hug, kissing her on the forehead and telling her that he knew and that he loved her too and eventually she would let their fight go and would give in to the hug. It was the small, sweet moments like these that they knew that they were destined to be, it was moments like these when they believed in true everlasting love. It was the moments where they watched the others retreating back leaving them that they knew it was all a lie and that happily ever after didn't exist.

It was all a lie, every single thing and she didn't believe in fairytales anymore because she was broken and it was all his doing, he had given her love and then he had taken it all back and destroyed it in every way possible and walking away from him was the hardest thing she had ever had to do because all she wanted to do was to stay there and tell him everything would be okay and that this wouldn't affect them but it did, it changed everything. Her cheeks are stained with mascara and her lips are quivering because she thought he was different, that he had changed but he was still the same selfish asshole he had ever been. Her hand flew to her chest and she felt it being crushed under his cold, hard gaze. She doesn't see the person she fell in love with anymore, she only sees a monster.

He is a monster, he's turned into somebody she doesn't even know anymore. She gives him chance after chance and he ruins them all and leaves her fleeing, her cheeks stained with tears that shes trying her hardest not to let free. She falls back into Nate's arms because he's safe and he loves her and she loves him and it's oh-so-familar and he's really perfect, he'll always be her prince but then she sees Chuck again and they begin to scheme and her whole facade starts to fall because she loves Chuck more then she'll ever love Nate.

And before she went back to Nate, she had Marcus. He started out as a fake-boyfriend that she used as a weapon to destroy Chuck, just like he had destroyed her when he had let her go to Tuscany alone but it rapidly turned into something "real" when she found out he was a lord. Real might be a bit of a stretch because she didn't love him, she simply liked him at best and then he turned out to be an asshole. They all did.

After she and Chuck were done and dusted for good she found love with Louis. A prince from Monoco and everything seemed perfect and then he was proposing and everything was moving too fast but she said yes because she knew she loved him, or was it the idea of him? No, she loved _him_ because he was sweet and kind and so very unlike Chuck and then she remembered that she would have too break the news of her engagement to Chuck and the mere thought broke her inside and then he broke her when she told him. The hurt look on his face made her heart crush, the way he acted made her fear what he would do too himself and then the cut to her cheek made her see who he really was for the first time but she still loved him. She would never stop.

Then she moved onto Dan after Louis and it was a few months of complete bliss, he was sweet and shared all the same interests as her and Chuck didn't try to even break them up even if she lashed out on him, accusing him of trying to buy her back when he was only getting her out of the mess that his own jealousy and her stupid decisions had caused but then Dan had to go and ruin whatever they had by saying those three words that she knew she could never feel for anybody except Chuck and it was just like then she woke up from her coma and seen what she had been doing, she didn't want to hurt Dan when he had been ever-so-good to her but she couldn't lie to him either and pretend what they had was real when she was in love with another man.

She was in love with him to the point where that in itself was unhealthy, her heart hurt from all the pain he had caused her but it also swelled at all the love he had brought her. She wanted him more then anything in the world and she had always known that but it was hard to give herself to him when he had only shown her time and time again the amount of pain he could cause but she had told her mother that he had made her happier then she had _ever_ be and that wasn't a lie.

Was it possible to love somebody to the point where it consumed you, to the point where it became unhealthy, to the point where you didn't live to please yourself but to please them because you would do everything and anything for them. It was impossible for Blair Waldorf to do the anything other then this when it came to Chuck Bass.


End file.
